Our story starts on 15th September 1066, in Dublin. Whilst William the Conquer has conquered, and the Godwins have been scattered to the winds, Ireland's independent kingdoms and counties are self-sufficient, content, and at peace.Earl Conall of Dublin is a mere 19 years old. With blond hair and fine features, he is a truly attractive young man - and with a title, quite the eligible bachelor. However, there are those in his court, those who perhaps have known him longer, and better, who are well aware of his numerous shortcomings. It is no secret that the young Earl leads a hedonistic lifestyle, drinking and whoring with little to no regards for his court, himself, or The Church. He had little training in diplomacy, but always seemed to use it with the naive women he preyed upon, rather than with the foreign dignitaries who sometimes attended the Court.
"My lord," a voice floated through the haze, "My lord..." it repeated wearily. The haze lifted, reluctantly.
"What...what is it? What do you want, damn you?" Conall slurred from beneath his bedlinens "can't you see I'm busy?"
"Yes, my Lord, I'm sure the, uh, 'lady' has enjoyed your attentions for the night, but might I suggest you rise? I have important matters I wish to discuss with your Lordship."
"Confound it Aedh, why must you dampen my spirits with such tiresome matters! Especially when I have much more delightful matters....at hand" Connell ran his fingers lightly over the fleshy buttocks of the girl lying beside him, feeling her stir under his touch.
"My dear," Aedh addressed the young girl, "his lordship has matters to attend to. Rise, dress yourself, and go back to...wherever it was you came from." The Chancellor observed the young fleshy thing, no more than a girl, really, quivering from beneath the bedclothes without shame. He waited patiently as she clothed herself, giggling under the gaze of the young Earl of Dublin. "Stop your dallying, girl!" the Chancellor snapped. She gathered what she could of her garments against herself and started to rush out
"wait!" Conall cried. Aedh bristled, but said nothing. The girl stopped and turned.
"m'lud?" she bobbed a clumsy curtsy, all frills and ruffles and undone laces. Conall smiled at her, and reached into his coin purse, which was hanging over the bedpost. From it he drew a coin, and threw it towards her. Quickly, she scrabbled to grab it from the stone floor, and with one final glare from the Chancellor, she was banished from the room. with a smug chuckle to himself, the Earl collapsed slovenly back into his feather bed.
"My Lord, it is past noon. You must arise and attend your council. I have pressing matters to discuss with you."
"Oh Aedh, just bedcause you're too old and flabby to get a delicious thing like that into your chambers doesn't mean you need to pull me away from my earthly delights" Conall replied, pulling on his doublet.
"Sire, I am married, and perfectly content with my Erin. Additionally, if I am completely frank, if you don't stop these dalliances, one day you may find yourself in a quandary. Bastards are no heir to your title." The Chancellor paused, hoping his meaning would be understood. The Earl continued to dress, seemingly unaware. A moment passed before Aedh realised he would need to make his meaning perfectly clear.
"Sire, you must marry."
Conall's coin purse dropped. "What!?"
"My Lord, it has been three years since you came of age. You have no heir and no allegiances, not to mention a long line of courtiers and whores alike who could all be with child". Conall smirked smugly to himself. "Sire, it is nothing to be proud of!" Aedh snapped, wiping the Earl's smile from his face. "The council and I are all in agreement. We must find you a wife."
Hmmmm, "Fleshy Buttocks".
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