.:The BFVG Podcast Player of Dreams:.

• previous
• play
• pause
• next
• stop
• mute
• unmute
• max volume

• shuffle
• shuffle off
• repeat
• repeat off

Oops It looks like our servers aren't playing ball with your browser. It will probably work if you try a different browser or update your current one. ;-)

To download a podcast, right click on the file type you want in the playlist and "Save Target As"/"Save Link As" or something like that, then you should be set.

Felix's Skyrim playthrough: 03 Schmetty's mystical and majestic journey to Solitude

With the flaming ruins of Riverwood at his back, Schmetterling, on the advice of Hadvar the human, left for the city of Solitude. He hadn't the foggiest idea where this place was, mind, but Schmetterling knew his instincts would get him there in no time.

*TEN DAYS LATER*   

My my, what a journey! Seriously, these ten days could not have been more action-packed, even if he'd tried. He'd gallantly slain the Three-headed Cat of Fart-ma-goo, not-so-gallantly slain the one-headed cat of errr... this other place, bravely delved into the Mash Potato Mines of Zip-a-zee-do-da and snuck past its dedicated team of gnome custodians (rumoured to turn all those who gaze upon them into key lime pie), surreptitiously stolen their legendary Golden Anorak of Ever-So-Light Drizzle Resistance, AND, most impressive of all, courageously recovered from the sniffles he'd caught when it had rained too hard...

03 The Douche and the Dungeon

As I leave Alvor’s forge, with pockets full of nothing but cold, hard coin from selling the contents of Rigel's treasure-room, I bump into a handsome chap called Sven strolling the main (only) street in Riverwood.  Now Pyppi’s no tramp, but she definitely likes what she sees, so we strike up a conversation.  Alas, he has feelings for another: Camilla, the sister of Lucan the trader.  And any lingering flames of attraction towards Sven are swiftly doused in icy water when he makes some rather snide comments regarding the elf Faendal – his rival for Camilla’s attention.  Exsqueeze me?  Never one to let a fellow Mer be subjected to racism, casual or otherwise, I promptly rat out snakey Sven to Camilla, who thanks me, and asks that I inform Faendal also.  He is overjoyed, rewards me with a little gold, and even offers to accompany me on my travels.  Why not?  Even a mighty mage such as Pyppi Långstøchin needs company on the long, lonesome road.  I accept his proposition, on a trial-basis for now.  If he proves his worth, and remembers who’s in charge, we’ll draw up a permanent contract. 

The Love Triangle

The Final Frontier: Fake Space, Part 3: A Lunar Date

Cue orchestral music.

The alarms blared incessantly, terminal lights flashed over and over, and behind Bill Kerman's head he swore he heard a panel of the command pod's outer hull make a deep, sonorous creak. Either the ship was pulling apart at the seams or he was hearing things.  The latter would be excusable, seeing as the pod was spinning like a top - although tops normally just spin in place around one central point, whereas Bill's ship was twirling in three dimensions, like a ballerina break-dancing for dear life.  As the surface of the Mün approached faster and faster, Bill Kerman  remembered his astro-lessons, not so very long ago...

XCOM Enemy Unknown Review

Hey! Wanna play a turn based tactical role-playing game? If your first reaction to that question is confusion along with a quick no as a reply, then a few months ago I would have been right there next to you, looking down on the person like some kind of weird overgrown kumquat. That is until I played XCOM Enemy Unknown.

Browzings: The Republia Times

If you enjoyed the growing sense of unease and tough moral choices offered by Papers, Please, try The Republia Times, a browser game set in a similarly oppressive dictatorship by the same designer, Lucas Pope.

The game sees you taking the role of an editor at the state-controlled newspaper, The Republia Times. At the start of the game, you're informed that your family has been taken to live "under the protection of the government", which, at the start of the game, does not have the support of the people. It's your job to ensure that the newspaper captures the loyalty of the nation.

Podcast #3 - It's All About the Money (Money, Money)

In our third inaugural podcast we whinge about the frankly DISGUSTING business practices involving DLC, microtransactions, auction houses and other ghastly payment models. It ain't what like what it used to be oh no... back then we used t...

Crusader Kings II: When Connall met Gaita

"Aedh, we've been through this list a hundred times - no, TWO hundred times already, I don't like any of these wenches"

"Sire, can we please refrain from referring to Princesses, Countesses and Duchesses as 'wenches'...."  The chancellor said with the tired patience of someone who has been sitting with his stupid liege for most of the evening trying to convince him that most portraits of eligible spouses ARE accurate and CAN be trusted.  "How about Her Grace, Adela Von Sternfeld of Germany?"

"Too fat."

Aedh sighed audibly, and scrabbled around on the table, piled with rolled portraits of eligible young women.

"....and what of Princess Nest of Wales?"

The Earl looked over at the unrolled portrait in the chancellor's hands (who, although he would never say as much to his lord did in fact believe that they all looked exactly the same), a vague flicker of interest passing his features.

"hmmm....."

Aedh's hope surfaced once more

Felix's Skyrim Playthrough: 02 Schmetterling conquers Riverwood

Last time we saw Schmetterling, he was uncontrollably gnashing his way through a brigand encampment like a frenzied T-Rex at Butlins. Now, with the nourishing goodness of human flesh coursing through his Orcine veins, our hero set off to Riverwood with a spring in step and a song in his heart - that song being 'Smash the Humans and Eat Their Bones' in F sharp major (working title). His plan: meet the simpleton Hadvar, see what he has to say (as per their arrangement), then bugger the feck off back to the putrid hole-in-the-ground he calls home.

Bewbs and Short Shorts and Lara Croft

Ah, Lara Croft.  Perhaps one of the most iconic female protagonists in the video gaming world, although there were two big reasons for that, and not much else.

I feel almost harsh saying that, but the sad truth of the matter is that Lara Croft, despite being, on paper, a strong headed, intelligent and educated woman who was unafraid to get what she wants (and kicked a lot of ass whilst she was doing it) is only really remembered for her impressive rack, and the fact that she likes short shorts.  Once again, a fairly obvious example of game designers "appealing to their target demographic" which apparently makes it totally acceptable, as one gentleman has recently argued to me.

It is almost like the developers were worried that gamers just couldn't identify with a woman who was strong AND intelligent, so they kept them interested with BEWBS.  I remember a rumour that did the rounds that this animation was only added to the game because there was a cheat that made her naked, and it was the only way you saw the front of her.  This was in fact not true, as many frustrated 12 year old boys discovered to their chagrin.  I mean, OBVIOUSLY, being a lady, Lara would use the time during her tomb-raiding escapades, being shot at by booby trap arrows to just casually test out her acrobatic skills.  What woman doesn't?

However, all the jokes must stop now (one would assume), thanks to the Tomb Raider reboot that came out earlier this year.  There was a lot of hoo-ha about many aspects of the game in the run up to its release - not least her design.  Sit back folks, this is going to be a long one!

Oh My Godus: Beta Edition

As a big fan of Peter Molyneux's previous work (the Fable and Black and White series in particular), I was excited to see that Godus (the recent Kickstarter project by new studio 22cans) had made an appearance on Steam. So excited, in fact, that I fell over myself in my haste to download the beta version of the game and spend a few hours getting to grips with the fledgling god-sim in order to report back to those of you who (wisely?) choose to wait for the finished product.

Podcast #2 - Ethical Boob Talk

In our second inaugural podcast we discuss Metal Gear Solid 5's newly announced character Quiet, her risqué outfit that has caused much controversy and the (fairly gross) design of female characters in video games.

Between Good and Evil : Skyrim

Ever since James and Felix first played games together, one thing has been abundantly clear:  They play them very, very differently.  No more evident is this than in their RPG playthroughs.  Felix will go out of his way to maim, murder, and, in once instance, eviscerate an old lady because her violin music was "bumming him out".

02 We need to talk about Rigel

After a good night's sleep, I visit the Riverwood Trader to offload the assorted goodies I have collected so far on my eventful journey from Helgen.  The proprietor, Lucan, and his sister are having an argument, so I stand awkwardly in the corner, clearing my throat to let them know they have a customer.  It backfires, as Lucan asks if I would be able to lend a hand in retrieving his stolen Golden Claw.  I promise I will, but I’ve got tastier fish to fry at present.  And I’m not talking about the unrefrigerated salmon meat that I picked up from some fisherman’s rack and crammed into my pockets.

01 A Magical Beginning

Home Sweet Home

The game begins on what is basically Tamriel’s worst road trip, with a nervy horsethief, Rolaf aka Captain Exposition, and Ulfric Stormcloak – the leader of a nationalist rebel cause bent on kicking the meddling Empire out of Skyrim - bound and gagged.  We reach the Imperial outpost of Helgen, where the executioner’s block lies waiting for these criminal scum.  And myself, who was obviously just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  The wagon (finally) rumbles to a stop in the courtyard and our names are called one-by-one.  Apparently I’m not on the guest-list.

Felix's Skyrim playthrough: 01 Schmetty gets Orc-napped

"By the Seven/Nine [or however many ridiculous Human Gods there are], where in Oblivion am I!?" These were the first thoughts to run through the head of SCHMETTERLING the Orc as he blearily regained consciousness on a wagon somewhere in the frozen outback.

Dresses, Crotch shots and “FemShep”

I previously mentioned Femshep in one of my earlier blog posts, and today I’d like to visit her a little more thoroughly.

Firstly, the moniker, “FemShep” is a portmanteau (I do like that word) of “Female” and “Shepard” – which, right before we’ve gone into any character description, brings me to my first point.  If she existed in real life, there would be no need to identify her by her gender.  She is a woman, her name is Shepard.  I wouldn’t expect people to come up to me and say “hey, FemJess, how’s it going?” Just as much as I wouldn’t go up to somebody else and say “hi ManBob, how you doing today?”.  You see my point, yes?  And yet, the gaming community at large still sees the need to identify her by her gender.

Having said all of this, the entire reason the term “FemShep” has arisen is because nearly all of BioWare’s (the game developer) advertising drives for all three of the games have featured ManShep.

Crusader Kings II: Conall, Earl of Dublin

Our story starts on 15th September 1066, in Dublin.  Whilst William the Conquer has conquered, and the Godwins have been scattered to the winds, Ireland's independent kingdoms and counties are self-sufficient, content, and at peace.

Earl Conall of Dublin is a mere 19 years old.  With blond hair and fine features, he is a truly attractive young man - and with a title, quite the eligible bachelor.  However, there are those in his court, those who perhaps have known him longer, and better, who are well aware of his numerous shortcomings.  It is no secret that the young Earl leads a hedonistic lifestyle, drinking and whoring with little to no regards for his court, himself, or The Church.  He had little training in diplomacy, but always seemed to use it with the naive women he preyed upon, rather than with the foreign dignitaries who sometimes attended the Court.

Podcast #1 - Cookie Clicker

We discuss whether Cookie Clicker is a wonderful game full of intrigue and strategy or a demonstration of how we waste our pointless existence on meaningless activities.

Here are some relevant links:
Play Cookie Clicker
Cookie Clicker wiki
Yoglaiiiii's blog post

The Big Cookie debate

BFVG is in disarray. A huge divide has been created. And what’s at the centre of this disagreement? The simple act of clicking a computerised image of a cookie.

Might and Magic and Involuntary Bodybuilding

I figured I'd visit a game series I particularly love (but still moan about quite a lot): "Fable". "Fable", when it was first released, was one of the first games to really explore the depths of in-game AI and the troubling matter of cause and effect in the gaming universe.  Additionally, to my recollection (and incorrect it may well be - I am open to corrections on this), it was also one of the first that allowed quite a high degree of detailed customisation, in terms of costume, hair, weapons, etc.

The first game in the "Fable" series, although highly customisable, didn't actually allow the player to choose a female character.  Hero, the character's default name was always a young boy, and as he grew into a man, you could define his character as finely as you liked.  Clothes, hair styles, even tattoos were readily available to buy in game and apply.  In addition to the conscious aesthetic choices provided throughout the game, your actions also affected ultimately how your character looked.  You start off with a "normal" looking guy - sort of thin, short, mousy hair.  Dependent on whether your actions were regarded as good or evil also contributed to the way your character looked.  It worked on a sort of sliding scale, i.e. +100 was totally Good, and -100 was totally Evil.  +100 meant you got gradually blonder, blue marks appeared all over your body and you got a literal halo.  -100 meant you got gradually darker, more frowny, reddish marks appeared all over your body and you ended up having two horns coming out of your head.  So, in theory, the more evil you are the more likely you are to develop hideous malformed growths on your face.

eSports, Can they truly compete?

These past few months I have really got into watching various eSports events on Twitch. No matter what it is, no matter whether I play the game myself I just love watching competitive gaming and it turns out that I am not alone. At any one time there will be hundreds of thousands of people viewing thousands of different channels on Twitch and various other streaming sites.

Single events consistently hit the six figure mark and it was reported by Valve that the recent Dota 2 International hit over 1 million views. This figure may have been even higher when taking into account viewers watching via TV. Competitive eSports are clearly becoming more popular as a spectator event. However, can eSports continue to grow, and will their popularity ever begin to rival that of the more conventional sports?