"Sire, can we please refrain from referring to Princesses, Countesses and Duchesses as 'wenches'...." The chancellor said with the tired patience of someone who has been sitting with his stupid liege for most of the evening trying to convince him that most portraits of eligible spouses ARE accurate and CAN be trusted. "How about Her Grace, Adela Von Sternfeld of Germany?"
"Too fat."
Aedh sighed audibly, and scrabbled around on the table, piled with rolled portraits of eligible young women.
"....and what of Princess Nest of Wales?"
The Earl looked over at the unrolled portrait in the chancellor's hands (who, although he would never say as much to his lord did in fact believe that they all looked exactly the same), a vague flicker of interest passing his features.
"hmmm....."
Aedh's hope surfaced once more
"no. Her chin is too big"
As quickly as it rose, it drowned and sank to the bottom of his being. One more, her told himself, one more refusal and I'll just pick one for him, and damn the consequences.
"Need I remind you, My Lord, that you need allies with a reason to rally to your cause in times of need? You will not gain allies with whores and pig-pokes..."
He grabbed one scroll from the bottom of the pile, and as soon as he did, he realised he hadn't opened it before - the seal was still in tact. He mouthed a silent thank you to the Lord Jesus Christ and unrolled the portrait slowly. As his eyes took in the features of this new suitor, he realised...This is it. She is the one!
"Sire!"
"what, Aedh?" Connall, was picking at his fingernails like a petulant teenager who wanted to go and play with his age-mates, grunting dispassionately at everything.
"May I suggest....The noble courtier, Gaita Gisulf of Salerno?" he turned the portrait around with a flourish, uncharacteristic for him. As soon as the portrait was turned, he could see the glassy eyed look fall over the Earl, that promised, finally an acceptance, and probably meant that there were some unsavoury thoughts floating through his head.
Conall reached for the scroll, slowly, as if in a dream. "She....she's beautiful"
"She is a noble, too, Sire"
"her dark hair, her exotic skin...."
"her father is a supreme Doge, my Lord"
"she has such full lips....I wager, she could do things to my-"
"YES, SIRE....yes, I'm sure all those things and more can be yours once you are both wed?"
"wed? Yes! Oh Aedh, YES! she must be mine, I MUST HAVE HER!"
"I will send a messenger to the Doge post-haste, sire."
As turned to leave the room, Aedh, Earl Connall of Dublin's chancellor thanked the Lord once, twice, three times more that he was finally free to spend some time with his own wife, who was waiting at home.
In the months that followed, as soon as the Doge had agreed to a marriage between Connall and Gaita, the young Earl actually held back on his lustful ways. "I must save myself for my wedding night", he told himself and anybody who would listen. There were some sulky ladies at court during that time.
One morning, Connall was in his chambers, lazing around, as usual, when Aedh burst in unannounced.
"My Lord, get dressed IMMEDIATELY."
"what WHAT WHAT?" Connall shouted from his hangover.
"A messenger has just arrived to herald the arrival of Gaita Gisulf - she will be here before the morning is out! Get dressed, get DRESSED!"
"who?"
"who?! WHO?! YOUR BRIDE, SIRE! she is here!"
"bride...? BRIDE! my sweet...uh...my darling....um..."
"......" Aedh waited
"....." Connall stared blankly at his Chancellor, a hint of expectation on his face.
"....Gaita, my Lord." Aedh sighed laboriously.
"Gaita! Oh Gaita, my wondrous, my beautiful! What would I hold you in my arms!"
Aedh watched on, unimpressed. It would be a miracle if his fool lord didn't grope her at first sighting in front of his entire court and chase her all the way back to Italy.
Just as Connall had finished dressing himself in his finest doublet and codpiece (close to which he hung his coin purse), they both heard the sound of hooves on the stone courtyard.
As Connal, Earl of Dublin and his Chancellor arrived in the courtyard, Gaita Gisulf of Salerno was just being assisted from her carriage. Her face was covered by a thin veil, but her dark eyes could be seen through, and they were indeed deep and dark and beautiful. Connall was immediately in his element. That is to say - in the general vicinity of an attractive woman.
"My lady? Welcome to your new home", he kissed her hand and smiled lightly as he looked up at her. She said nothing, but smiled and inclined her head.
Aedh stepped forward. "My lady Gaita. My name is Aedh Ua Faithbertaigh, Earl Connall's Chancellor. Please allow me to show you to your chambers." he said kindly. She was, after all, a stranger in a new country.
Once more, silently, she inclined her head, and her smile could be made out from behind her veil.
As his chancellor and soon-to-be-wife walked towards her new home, she looked over her shoulder at Connall. He smiled broadly at her and watched her disappear into the castle to prepare for her new life, no doubt filled with wondrous love, and respect.
All Connal could think was "I wonder what her buttocks look like out of that bustle?"
im starting to think that Connall is a changed man
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