Between Good and Evil : Skyrim

Ever since James and Felix first played games together, one thing has been abundantly clear:  They play them very, very differently.  No more evident is this than in their RPG playthroughs.  Felix will go out of his way to maim, murder, and, in once instance, eviscerate an old lady because her violin music was "bumming him out".

"Don't pretend you don't know what you did, Agatha!"

James meanwhile will break no laws, pick up litter, feed the poor, keep within the speed limits, and generally save the day with the sun shining straight out of his sanctimonious ass.  They have shared the anecdotes of their many different adventures over the years, but have never undertaken a direct side-by-side comparison of a single game.  This blog aims to rectify that.  Skyrim, the 2011 action role-playing game by Bethesda Games Studios, seemed like a suitable canvas upon which to paint their respective masterpieces of role-playing. 

James: I’ve dabbled in Skyrim a few times, playing first a stealthy rogue, then as a not-so stealthy brute-force mauler.  Each one had their own personality, their own choices, their own moral guide...but ultimately that morality was inherently Good, and they were upstanding individuals who rescued damsels, saved farmers from dragons, and were only hated by outlaws and the undead.  This time I’m excited to experiment with the many aspects of Skyrim I’ve never really touched before, from the significant (magic – which I’ve never ever used ever, not even to heal myself) to the innocuous, but interesting (horses, different companions, new houses).  I have also installed all of the DLC content - Dawnguard, Hearthfire and Dragonborn - and so shall probably end up dabbling in these along the way.

As I've told him many times before, Felix plays these games wrong.  Bad Guys never prosper.  I simply cannot comprehend the sick logic of a man who would, rather than help out the citizens of an ordinary town wishing for nothing more than a humdrum life, instead choose to kick down their doors, murder them in their beds, strip them naked and leave their bodies in the streets.  Cui bono?  Certainly not the citizens; nor indeed you, who are ultimately deprived of quest-givers, shopkeepers, companions, romantic interests, even your hard-earned coin when the lawmen fine you for your murder-spree.  What is even worse, is that you're equally cruel to the bandits and monsters.  I could respect a man (albeit grudgingly) who had his clear, defined morality, as twisted as it may be.  It's not that you're evil; it's that you're Chaotic Neutral: you don't care whose shit you're fucking up, as long as there is shit-up-fucking occurring.

Felix: You wound me with these accusations, James. Yes, I've committed atrocities in games that would make a defendant at Nuremberg blush, but, you know, it's all about context. For example, in Fallout 3 when I spent an entire afternoon planting human flesh and cigarettes on children, I was doing it safe in the knowledge that in some cultures this is considered the pinnacle of hospitality! Don't Google to check - just take my word for it. I'm 99.9% certain.

Anyway, I should probably point out that I've never played Skyrim before, but am super looking forward to getting myself into some good-old-fashioned shenanigans.

James: Upon demanding Felix explain further as to why he would foist flesh and fags onto innocent kids, his response was: "Because it was funny".  I rest my case.  Enjoy your burning ruin of a fantasy kingdom, Felix, you beast.

Felix: ...

James: Hope you guys enjoy our parallel playthroughs.  Just click the links below:

        theris108 (James)                                       this_is_jazz (Felix)

            01 A magical beginning                                                    01 Schmetty gets Orc-napped

            02 We need to talk about Rigel                                         02 Schmetterling conquers Riverwood

            03 The Douche and the Dungeon                                        03 Schmetty's journey to Solitude

            04 Whitewun and Weligious Wondewings                           04 Soloitude